Transition

It's been four months since I've signed onto this thing. I got to a point in Germany that I just didn't want to think about the fact that I would be leaving. The past months were full of amazing times with my friends. Tuesday Karaoke in brauhaus, thursday student night at zaubi, one friday a month at zaubi, basketball with my girls in the tgw, lots of coffee with my lovely anja, sponaneous evenings out til the sun came up, taco nights on a balcony overlooking the river, vodka brause (ex mixed feelings), another trip up to marburg with inga and her down to me for my last days!, time with the family, another visit from suse and some new jackets ;), wine festivals, beer festivals, and just growing closer to the people there in my life. My going away party was absolutely amazing, the weather was perfect, and I could not have imagined a better group of people to spend my time with. On the way to the airport, I was holding back tears. I went outside with one of my friends, and she held me while we both started crying. I couldn't stop as I went through the security gate, watching three very important people in my life cry and wave bye. I called Inga while I was waiting for the plane to tell her I thought I was making a mistake. The flights were so horrible. I got stuck in Texas and freaked out that everybody around me was American. At this point, I was certain I had made a mistake in leaving. I wanted to go home...back to my apartment in wuerzburg. I still think of it as home. I think about going for a jog down the river, going a few houses down to see if anja's home, catching the straba for basketball practice. It's so weird how quickly everything changed at once.

What a weird feeling once again to be packing up my life and leaving. Leaving the people who I love. Again. I won't do it again. I need some stability when I'm done with school...and I need to live somewhere with my friends, because friends are what make life so wonderful.

BUT...I did not make a mistake. I know why I'm here. :)

I have been back in the States a little over two and a half months now...and over two months in grad school. Unbelievable. I do miss my friends over there so so much, but I feel that is was a good thing that my transition here had to go so quickly--and that grad school keeps me so busy. I know we'll all see each other again, and who knows, maybe I will end up living over there again someday. :) I already had a couple of friends visit the first month I got back to the States, and another is coming in December. I also am so excited to see my friends in the States! There are a few loves of my life who I had been missing like crazy. I feel so far away being down here in so cal..but I know it's closer, because we can at least talk on the phone and be (more or less) in the same time zone.

School is kicking my butt, but it is exactly what I want to do. I know research is not my passion. I'd like to do projects to supplement my work as a clinician, but my heart is in working directly with patients. Three years of this...then I've got all my options open! And in the meantime, surfing with my new boards, enjoying summer-like weather in late october, gym & yoga dates with people from my class...and anything else that is free!